


The After

by Pepper20



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, Kissing, M/M, More Fluff, Nightmares, No Smut, SnowBaz, simon snow/baz pitch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 09:11:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepper20/pseuds/Pepper20
Summary: Everyone knows the Before. What people don't know is what happened in the After.





	1. Chapter 1

BAZ

I made a few discoveries when I was stuck in a coffin under a bridge. First, the coffin was unpleasant to say the least. The numpties had thought that I was a vampire and I am, but believe me, we don’t live in coffins. We also don’t just drink blood. We need food as well, just not as often as humans who haven’t been Turned. I wouldn’t expect the numpties to know this, but honestly, they should have asked someone what to do with a fucking vampire when they kidnapped me and demanded a ransom. Second, six weeks is a helluva long time. It’s forty-two days and all of them were awful. I drifted in and out of consciousness to keep myself from going insane and when I found myself drifting too far, I thought of the one thing—well the one person—who has kept me going through these eight years at Watford, which brings me to my third discovery, but also my pastime and sanity. Simon-Freaking-Snow, the Mage’s pet, the star of the school, the Chosen One, the one in all the prophesies, and also, my roommate. Since we were eleven and we met, we’ve somehow managed to live together but also avoid one another at all costs. I’ve tried to squish my feelings for this freckled, bronze-haired boy, but I can’t deny that I’m so very gay, but that’s not the worst of it. I’m so very fucking gay for him, for Simon Snow.

A plastic cup with a bright yellow, bendable straw fell on me. When I say it “fell on me”, I actually mean it fell on me. Most people will say that something fell on them as a hyperbole, but the blood actually fell on me. A bit of the thick, red liquid sloshed out of the cup, around the straw and I grimaced. I only got meals every few days. There was none to waste. I drank every last drop and I could feel it sloshing around in my stomach. I closed my eyes and imagined that I’d just hunted a deer and drained it. I lay back, keeping my eyes closed and drifted out, Snow’s smiling face filling my head and heart.

I awoke to a banging. Something was hitting the top of the coffin very hard. I wondered what was happening, who was dying, if I was being rescued.

“Baz!” The voice shouted and immediately I recognized it. My badass Aunt Fiona had come for me.

“Fiona…” I croaked. I hadn’t realized how a voice changes after not being used regularly enough. I guess my big, dark secret in this scenario was not that I’d been kidnapped by nupties, the dumbest race in the world, but that I had been using my voice. I had sung. I used to listen to my mother singing me to sleep every night. I was five when she died, but I still remember her voice singing to me very vividly. I used to sing along too. My aunt hated it. She thought that my mother was raising me in a very feminine fashion and that I would never be a man if I was singing with my mother each night. She was sure to bring it up when she saw me.

The lid of the strong, oaken coffin broke open with a crash and I shielded my face with my hands. I hadn’t seen the sun in a very long time and even then, we were under a bridge, not even in direct light.

“Numpties?” my aunt asked me. “You were kidnapped by numpties?”

I shrugged. There wasn’t a good answer for that question. I opened the door to the passenger side of the car and had one foot in when Aunt Fiona yelled at me from the driver’s seat, “Shotgun is for people who don’t get kidnapped by numpties and who don’t sing themselves to sleep!”

I scowled and slammed the door, climbing into the back instead. I’d grown. When I was younger, I’d climb back there with my sister and we’d both fit just fine. I saw now that if I’d tried to cram my sister and myself into the back seat, one of us would end up sitting atop the other.

Of course, this is all in the Before. That’s how I’ve decided to sort out and process the events that happened. There’s the Before. Before we defeated the Mage, before Snow lost all his magic, before Snow got devil’s wings and a devil’s tail, before I finished school at Watford, and before Snow and I kissed at the graduation dance. Then there’s the After. After I finished school and went to a university and after Snow got a flat with Penny. I spend all my time over there. I might as well live there at this point. Everyone knows everything there is to know about the Before, but hardly anyone knows about the After. Sure, Snow and Penny and I are still heroes, but no one bothers us about it like they used to. There’s still whispering on the streets, but I don’t think that’ll ever change.


	2. Chapter 2

BAZ

I only have to reach my arm out slightly to play with Snow’s bronze hair. It’s soft and ruffled like it always is in the morning and his eyes are still shut. He’s still asleep. I smile at his small form, tucked into me. It’s adorable, the way he sleeps. Call me creepy, but he’s so peaceful when he isn’t having a nightmare. Like me, he’s plagued by them often and I understand why. We’ve seen some shit. I touch his cheek and he smiles. The little bastard. He wasn’t asleep. He notices my falter and his eyes flutter open. It’s like a light is turned on every time I meet his eyes. They’re blue and clear, like the sky on a perfect day when the sun is out and there aren’t any clouds. They don’t have any gold specks or anything, but I like them without. I’m pretty sure my lips part as I drag in a breath. Snow smiles. He knows full well what he does to me and how he makes me feel.

“And you always scold me for breathing through my mouth…” he mutters as the edges of his mouth are dragged up in a grin.

“Well that’s because you do it all the time,” I tell him, lightly cuffing him atop the head. He scowls and sits up, rubbing his head.

“Jesus, Baz, no need to hit so bloody hard!”

I immediately sit up next to him to gingerly touch the back of his head and make sure that he’s okay. I know that I can hit hard. I’m a vampire after all and we have elevated senses and strength. Often, I don’t know how hard I’m hitting something. As I said, I was going to make sure that my boyfriend was okay, but I never actually got there. As soon as I got close to him, he took me by the back of the neck and slid his lips against mine. He’s really good at that and I shouldn’t be surprised that it happened, but I am. My surprise quickly fades to pleasure as Snow does that thing where he moves his chin up and down a little bit when he kisses and he presses into me. He did it the first time we kissed and God, it’s wonderful. His lips are warm against mine like they always are and I feel what’s left of the blood I drank last night rise to my cheeks. Only Snow can make me blush. I move my hand from the back of his head to his back. His skin is warm and soft against my hand. He sleeps with his shirt off recently because of his wings. Penny’s found a way to make the there’s nothing to see here spell last longer, so I can’t see his wings, but I can feel them. I touch the base of them and Snow makes a weird sound. It’s part growl, part purr, and part yelp. I break away, asking him if he’s okay, but he just chases my lips and kisses me again. He comes at me so hard, I fall back and he falls on top of me. I put my hand back on the base of his wings and tickle him. He squirms on top of me and makes the growling/whimpering noise again.

“’S new,” I remark. “Did you know that would happen?”

“No,” Snow says in between kisses and laughter. He’s on all fours, holding himself slightly above me so that I have to reach to kiss him, which I gladly do. He’s teasing me and we both know it.

“Simon?” Bunce’s voice rings out from the opposite side of the closed door. He quickly sits back on his heels and helps me up too.

“Yeah?” he answers once we’re not touching each other anymore.

“Can I come in?” Bunce asks tentatively.

Snow waits for me to nod before replying. Bunce walks into the room and takes in the scene in front of her. Simon doesn’t have a shirt on like always. Jesus, he always walks around without a shirt and it kills me. He says it’s because it bothers his wings, but Bunce doesn’t buy it for a second. I’m still a little red in the face and Simon’s hair is a little tousled.

“Baz. I didn’t know you were here,” she said, vaguely surprised. “Am I… interrupting something?” she asks. She’s painfully aware of that fact that Snow and I are together.

“No,” Snow and I say at the same time.

Bunce raises an eyebrow, but lets it go. “Well I was just going to tell you two that Agatha is here. She came to visit.”

Wellbelove. Great. She fucking hates me. At least, I think so. Maybe she hates me for loving Snow and not her. I mean, I’m gay, so I wouldn’t love her even if I didn’t love Snow. I’m sure Bunce didn’t think that I’d be here when Wellbelove arrived.

“Okay. Thanks for telling us, Penny,” Snow said. “We’ll get dressed.”

Bunce rolled her eyes and walked out.

I flopped back down on the bed. “’M still so tried,” I said, my words slurring like they did when I didn’t sleep.

Snow lay down next to me, his head on my chest, probably listening to my heartbeat. Contrary to popular belief, vampire’s hearts do still beat, just slower than human hearts.

“Nightmares?” Snow asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, but it just came out as a kind of grunt.

“I’m sorry, love. I wish I could help…” Snow says.

“’S fine,” I say gruffly. Snow’s the only person who I’ll be soft for, but even then, it makes me feel weird and my nightmares are a tough subject. Snow gives me a hurt puppy look and I feel bad about snapping at him. “Did it hurt?” I ask, hoping that this will make him smile again.

“Wait. Lemme guess. When I fell from heaven?” Snow asks, already grinning, the idiot. He loves it when I give him pick up lines.

“No, dumbass. Did it hurt when you fell down the stairs?” I say, smiling with him. He wrinkles his nose and pushes me. I think I can go a step further with this one. “Well you literally fell for me, so it’s not my fault.” Snow covered his face with his hands and groaned, but I could tell he was trying not to smile.

“I hate you,” he says through his fingers.

“I hate you too,” I tell him, getting up to change out of the t-shirt and flannel pants that I slept in. I picked out a different shirt and jeans to change into and walked into the bathroom. Snow and I still don’t change in front of each other. Well, I don’t change in front of him. Simon has no qualms about walking around the flat with his pants sagging (“My pants make my tail stick out, Baz!”) and his shirt off (“I can’t fit my wings into my shirt, Baz.”), showing off his bare torso for Bunce and me and whoever else is in the flat. I flopped back on the bed after changing, finding Snow changed too and standing by the door. He was wearing a button-up shirt and jeans. The back of his shirt was bumping up in weird places because of his wings, but Agatha would understand. God, he looked hot.

“Baz…” he said, tiredly.

“I’m tired, Simon. Wellbelove hates me. Let me stay up here and sleep.”

Snow sighed. I threaded my fingers together behind my head and met his eyes. “Okay,” he said, “But you’ll come get me if you have a nightmare or if you get lonely or if you want to see Agatha, okay?”

I nodded and closed my eyes.

“You called me Simon,” he said right before closing the door.

“Did not,” I muttered after his retreating form. Then, I closed my eyes.

 

Snow was in trouble. I couldn’t see him; I could just feel it. He needed help and I wasn’t there to help him. Everything was black. I reached out my hands and felt hard wood under my fingertips. God, no. I was back in the coffin. There was a knocking on the lid and the Mage broke open the top.

“Tyrannus Basil Grimm-Pitch,” he said softly.

I rose from the coffin and stared his down. “Where’s Snow?” I asked him as he started to circle around me. I stood stock-still.

“Nowhere you’ll find him,” the Mage answered. “You love Simon, don’t you?”

“More than you’ll ever love,” I spat.

The Mage scowled. “You’re walking on some thin ice, Tyrannus. I’ve loved. I’ve loved someone more than life itself. It was us. We raised him. She was his mother and I was… I am his father.”

“Where is Simon?” I asked again. I already knew that the Mage was Snow’s father. If he though that he could rattle me with that, then he underestimated me.

“Hidden. He should be where you just were,” the Mage said as he casually examined his fingernails.

“You… You killed him?” I shouted.

The Mage was behind me now. “He was damaged. I was doing him and our world a favor. Tyrannus, I did you a favor. You should be thanking me.”

“Bastard,” I growled through gritted teeth.

“He’ll never love you,” the Mage said softly in my ear. It set shivers up and down my entire body. I hated his voice. I hated everything about him.

I didn’t see the blast of fire hit me from behind, but it did. I screamed. Everything went black again, but a second later, there was Simon in front of me. He banished the dark like a fire in the dead of winter. He walked to me and took my hands. He was bright, but he was cold. He was cold as death.

“Snow…” I said, despairingly.

“It’s okay, my love,” he said, smiling at me.

I couldn’t take it. Tears started welling up in my eyes. I could feel one fall down my cheek. Simon reached up, even in death, I was still taller, and wiped the tear away. That was my breaking point. Streams of salt water flowed down my face and I clutched Simon to me like I’d lose him forever if I let go. He stood on his toes to whisper in my ear.

“It’ll all be okay. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. Remember that time in the forest?” he whispered, hanging his arms around my shoulders. I nodded. I felt him playing with my hair, threading it through his fingers like he always loved to do.

“Which time?” I asked choking out the words.

“The time I got lost and you had all the nymphs looking for me. You were so desperate to find me and the nymphs were so bloody fed up with you by the end.” Simon laughed and I found my own sobs subsiding. Simon held me close to him. I clutched at his shirt, digging my fingers into the fabric. His lips caught mine for a second, then he broke away.

“I have to go, now,” he told me. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Simon,” I answered before he disappeared into the gloom. I just had time to see his radiant smile before he faded. “Simon? Simon?” I asked the darkness. He was gone. I couldn’t see him. He wasn’t there. “Simon!” Tears started streaking my cheeks again as I ran after him, to the place where the black oblivion had swallowed him up. It’s my fault. I was weak. I hadn’t loved him enough. I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t do enough. It’s my fault, all my fault. I should have protected him. I should have stopped this from happening. It’s my fault. I dropped to my knees, crying for everything I’d lost. “Simon…” I whispered to the dark. “I love you, Simon. Always.”

 

I opened my eyes. I couldn’t think. Simon was dead. The Mage had murdered him. I didn’t know what to do. I dragged myself out of bed and to the door, tripping over my own feet three times before I was out in the living room.

“Simon!” I cried, tears still rolling down my face. “We have to find him! We need to help him!” I was greeted by a scene I didn’t expect. There were scones. Scones and tea. Scones and tea and Bunce and Wellbelove. And there was Simon, mouth half-full with a cherry scone, looking at me. He immediately realized what had happened, dropped the scone, and sprang to his feet. Wellbelove was staring at me and Bunce didn’t know what was happening.

“Agatha, would you like to see the back yard?” Bunce asked, stealing a glance at Snow and me.

“Yeah. That’s be great, Penny,” Wellbelove said, relieved. Bunce and Wellbelove went out to our non-existent back yard. It was a flat after all. Simon sat with me on the couch while I cried into him.

“It was a just a dream, love. It’s all okay now. Nothing can hurt you while I’m alive,” he muttered in my ear. Nothing can hurt you while I’m alive… Snow’s voice reverberated in my head. While I’m alive… That was the problem, though. Snow had saved my life back in the forest that day and if Snow died now…


End file.
